- Jody Highroller – Hmm, rave-like beat, no rapping, this is odd. Wait, is he singing? Its OK I guess. This song is just filler.
- Jose Canseco – I didn’t know the Ying Yang Twins produced this song. Sounds so 2004. Riff starts rapping. Its mostly non sequitur. “Get in that ass like Charmin”; that’s a pretty interesting line. Anyone could’ve made this song though.
- Lil Mama – Three tracks in and already hitting the crappy production? Come on. Cal Chuchesta can work a beat better than this. “I’mma lie to your mom, make her mad at your dad.” That line has nothing to do with anything. The song has nothing to do with anything. And how dare the track try to let the bargain beat ride out lol.
- Deion Sandals – The hook is deep-fried struggle. Nice, rumbling bass. “Bipolar paint seats look like tiger paws.” Bipolar what??? “Ice on my finger look like I slapbox a penguin.” Ha, that sounds cool.
- Rap Game King Tut – Interesting fact: Ancient Egyptian royalty were usually the product of incest. That’s right, the prince and princess were forced to yeah you know. Don’t worry about the song. The production’s pretty good though, weird, mechanistic synths.
- Original Don – “I’m finna black out on you haters.” I swear I’ve heard that line in every commercial rap song. The beat’s way more hype than this dude can handle. It’s so damn hard to find a stream of thought from this guy! “Chicken waffles, orgasm, I paid my bills, I broke my triple beams.” THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT I JUST HEARD. OK not really, but its close.
- Hologram Benz – A cool dubstep song, “Cracks,” completely smothered by struggle bars. Move on.
- Bird On A Wire – Harry Fraud beat. It’s atmospheric and soothing. Good. Action Bronson doesn’t do much for me, but nice to hear a proper flow for once. “Prolla Prolla gucci malla walla scurty gaurd jetta metaa days get betta.” WHAT. Rewinding back to see if he actually said something. “Owls Jesus skins ostrich feather wagon jetta sunny weather sunny weather.” Either this guy has severe logorrhea, or I’ve gone crazy.
- ICU – Dude on the hook sounds like Gucci Mane. Rides the beat well. Riff kinda sounds like 2 Chainz content wise, he said he sold cocaine with Alicia Keys. Um, lol I guess. He rides the beat as well. Finally a song I could kinda sorta vibe to. Oh, wait. “Canary Mercedes, crawlin’ like a baby… I feel cool I feel straight/paper license plate… I’mma sit sideways at the Chinese buffett.” Did I take a tab of acid by accident or something? This dude doesn’t seem serious, but this is friggin’ DUMB.
- Larry Bird – Beat’s kinda gully, like 1970’s crime drama shit. Struggle bars on steroids. It sounds like he chews his tongue while talking. Don’t do that, RiFF. Song wins for the production alone. “I’mma get on every track like it’s a railroad track.” Dear God.
- Terror Wrist – The pun in the title is so… ugh. “All my friends are black, all my wives are white/pound of syrup in my sprite, more ice than a Klondike.” This is the opening line. Just shoot me. Right in the cerebral cortex.
- Drive Thru – Accidentally hit the skip button. Sweet fate! “And I never was a nice kid/dropped outta school, 10th grade, don’t let ya kids here this.” Socially conscious rhymes from such a masterful poet. Beat is average. “I don’t like too many humans/Rap game Ferris Bueller.” I’m still crazy.
- Only I Can Cure Your Broken Heart – He’s singing the hook off beat. I can’t. Skipping.
- White Sprite – He’s singing again. GUUUUUUUUUH. THE. STRUGGLE. IS. TOO. REAL.
- GraveYard Music – The beat has FruityLoop swag. I can see a dude with a Yankee snap back cookin’ to his own production. “Might be a hot sauce, might be Houdini/Don’t worry bout calling the locksmith/I’m used to pulling Houdinis.” Seriously. Why do these verses form in such a displeasingly nonsensical fashion?
- World Star – The mixtape is not over. The mixtape is not over. The mixtape is not over. The mixtape is not over. The mixtape is not over. The mixtape is not over.
- Marc Jacobs – Another beat with stupid FruityLoop swag. Hit that mouse button, playa. What an ignorant hook. “Shinin’ like a lighter, got you shittin’ like a diaper.” OK, kinda funny. “Right hand Jacob, other hand Jacob.” Still waiting on that lobotomy.
- Don’t Wait – MORE SINGING I WON’T STAND FOR THIS BUFFOONERY. Oh, it’s not that bad. I mean… gosh, these rhymes make no sense and they’re trashy. Jersey Shore trashy. You cannot fake that type of degenerate mentality.
- Brain Freeze – Um… “Ice in my ear/gimme brain freeze.” That’s as bad as the new subtle-fellatio radio jam Flo Rida just dropped. Oh my God, Lil Debbie rapping? Are my ears…. OH NO THEY’RE MELTING OH GOD NO SOMEONE KILL THE-
- 10 is What They Rate – PLEASE HELP MY EARS ARE DROOLING OUT OF THE HEADPHONES RIFF RAFF IS A WIZARD SO MUCH BLOOD-
- Pure Space – THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU I BANISH THIS CULTURALLY DEPRAVED DEMON-
- Sour & Gunpowder – Yeah, turns out I actually did take a tab of acid earlier. Sorry for that lapse of consciousness. All of those songs sucked, as does this one. “Girls are like World Stop, they try to stop me/Bitches try to top me, but that will not happen.” I don’t even know what to say.
- Cuz My Gear – The prince of struggle, Chief Keef, is on this track. “Shejus-really-wame-formah-geuh.” His flow sounds like Michael Winslow trying to talk after three years of non-stop sound effects. RiFF RaFF is a lost cause, I just tune him out. If you get to this part, tweet me #bangbang. Then shame yourself for tweeting me #bangbang.
- Rice Out -THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER. THE MIXTAPE IS NOT OVER.
Ah, the warm, inviting solitude of silence. So, what unfurled above was my second listen of this mixtape. Usually I listen to every project twice; once to get a feel for the project and see if I subjectively like or dislike it, twice to dissect and analyze, and numerous times more depending on the project.
The first time I heard this, it seemed obvious that Riff Raff didn’t give a shit about rhyme scheme, lyrics, flow, coherence, etc., and the beats he went over had little to no cohesion as well. He summed up to be a white 2 Chainz, with added ignorance (if that’s possible) and a lesser amount of truly funny wordplay. But I thought, “You know, this is just fun YOLO rap. Put it on, learn a couple word with your friends, laugh, move on. I can’t really hate it for that.”
And, as you read above, my opinion progressively warped into some odd Exorcism of sorts. Or maybe that was just the acid talking. Either way, I cannot in clear conscience consider this a “good” mixtape, and why call it “bad” when the rapper puts little gravitas behind his work? What a conundrum. Let me put it this way: I listened to the mixtape for you, and you have experienced it. That’s good enough, right? Now, hold on, don’t google the album title. Don’t do it! I warned you, fool, I WARNED YOU!!!!